this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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