i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
