Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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