Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
