doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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