Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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