Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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