i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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