Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
A+ Viking dick
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
