i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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