Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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