Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize