Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
