Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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