My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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