so explain again why im purple
no
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
