Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Holy sore nipples Batman
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??