And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.