i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We don't watch enough power rangers
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY