Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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