i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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