3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
