No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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