dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
