Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
im holly from the hills drunk
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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