Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
