I think I won the penis lottery.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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