Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
