i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
