Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
