i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
