Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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