Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Couch. On fire.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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