That's when you crack a 10am beer
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
