i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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