it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
