Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
