Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
