I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
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she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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