Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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