You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
