haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
handjob tips. give me some.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
