So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
