John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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