So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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