They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
