I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
