yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
