Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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