How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
