Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
