We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
