I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
