sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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