I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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