You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
