dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
