I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
